


Search and Rescue

by Miss_Macabre_Grey



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anachronism, Divergent Timelines, Historical Accuracy, Historical Inaccuracy, Historical modifications to Canon, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Semi-AU?, Significant headcanon-ing, Small time switches
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-12
Updated: 2014-03-17
Packaged: 2018-01-04 11:05:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1080283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Macabre_Grey/pseuds/Miss_Macabre_Grey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The name of the mission was not Search and Rescue. The mission did not focus on saving anyone, only things, but Eren could not handle that. The mission given be damned, Eren had his own plans; he would find and rescue his closest friend. Armin promised to come back, and Eren would make sure he kept that promise. </p><p>Rating may go up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first SnK story, so it's also my first Eremin story. I think everyone's as in character as I could make them, yeah? Also, I am LIVID that this will be a multi-chaptered story. I have other stories to write and schoolwork in break, but this story begged and begged, so how could I reject it?  
> It's weird that I complain that this story is going to have more chapters, but the first chapter is very, very short to me. It's mostly because I read the last line, and I was just, "Yup. That's it. That's how I need to finish this chapter!" Hopefully later the chapters will be longer, and I have no idea how long the story will be total, but have at it, cool kids.

Eren refused to accept the official name of the mission. "Search and Retrieve," the higher-ups dubbed it. Eren clenched his fist tighter the more he thought about how idiotic it seemed. Eren's pride as a soldier diminished in three words as he felt like a dog, sent to retrieve a bone for its master, only to realize the master never actually threw anything to find.

Though the title insulted his pride, Eren could not care less for being treated like a scouting cur. Instead of being insulted in three words, Eren was heartbroken in one, "retrieve." Retrieve, in his head, was used for _things_ , like milk and eggs, a present for someone, or -- more particularly -- _bones_. The more he read the details of the mission, the more he understood why his superiors would use "retrieve."

Eren's mission detailed without completely stating for a search of bones, fallen comrades who happened to carry irreplaceable items. If they were not transporting important goods, Eren doubted the leaders would send even real dogs to fetch the corpses.

A tear fell down Eren's face without his noticing, only paying attention to it when it dropped on the mission details.

"No," he murmured to himself. The documents came from the government, printed on precious paper with precious ink, containing sacred information never to be desecrated. Despite knowing the scandal and crime of his actions, Eren grabbed a rare pen given to him for separate note-taking, and crossed out the name of the mission.

At the top of the page, in sloppy, unsure penmanship, read "Search and Rescue."

"If I find you dead, I'll never forgive you. Do you hear that? I'll find you and save you," Eren swore, "Armin."

***

Armin never liked visiting Eren in the prison. Looking at his friend, green eyes blazing but controlled, Armin wanted to break the bars and comfort his friend who was guilty only of being misfortunate.

The government saw Eren as a threat, but all the higher-ups did was fuel Eren with reasons to hate them, not that he did. Most assumed Armin as the passive-aggressive one in the trio, but Eren held no fury at anything not related to titans or injustices to soldiers. Armin tried desperately to convince Eren that he deserved better, but Eren told him to stop over-thinking.

Eren saw _himself_ as a threat, a being whose power could destroy everything on complete accident, even if he did also consider himself human. Hanji and Levi helped him practice, but after a few failed practices, Eren _chose_ to return to prison as a precaution. Even though Eren was allowed free reign in the cell without chains or restraints; he mostly stayed because the precaution of being underground. Armin found the idea ridiculous because they slept in the same bunk for years with no danger, but Eren assured him that he agreed on the treatment as merely a just-in-case.

"You look ill," Mikasa noted from Armin's as she stared into Eren's eyes with tamed fury. "Are the guards treating you poorly, Eren?"

"It's mostly just Captain Levi and Captain Hanji who take care of me."

Mikasa's intense gaze only slightly decreased at the two captain's names. Mikasa wanted to slice through the bars of the cells, but Armin grabbed a wrist. "That doesn't answer my question. How are the bastard and crazy researcher treating you?"

Eren openly laughed, a rare sound heard from anyone. "I'm fine, Mikasa. You really don't trust them yet? I'm just frustrated at myself."

Mikasa tucked her face away beneath her scarf, but her words came out without much muffling. "You should not be so frustrated that you are doing poorly now. We've always known you were no good at big things. I swore to protect you so you shouldn't worry."

"I told you I don't want your protection. I don't want to need it, Mikasa. One day you'll be hurt because of me, more than already, and I want to be strong enough to protect _you_ instead," Eren already told her this, but the familiarity of the conversation lightened his mood more than upset it. "I'll protect _both_ of you."

Armin's eyes drifted away from the cell as he felt Eren direct the words more at him than Mikasa. Armin told himself he looked away because of guilt, guilt that of course Eren would need to protect his weak self more than the powerful Mikasa, but the look in Eren's eyes spoke differently, and it sent shivers down Armin's spine trying to decipher it all.

"I don't want to need protection, either, Eren. Instead of training alone, you should have Mikasa and me join. Then we'll all be strong enough to naturally protect each other and ourselves."

Eren's hard stare softened, a rare smile gracing his face instead. "I know. You always make good points, Armin."

"It's not a good point, just an obvious one if you paid any attention to anything. Mikasa already commented that you're a bit unreliable for some things. Like thinking." Armin began to smile for himself, and even Mikasa brightened at the comment.

"We should cut back on the allowed time for visitation," a deep, dull voice chided from down the corridor.

"Nonsense! We should allow more hours, make Eren feel more in his natural habitat," a more energetic voice retorted. Th voices continued to bicker, sounding nearer with each word until the trio could see the pair.

"Ah, Captain Levi, Captain Hanji, hello," Armin greeted.

"Hello, Armin, Mikasa, and Eren. Levi and I are here to give Eren dinner. You know the drill by now, right?"

Mikasa said nothing for her response, only turning to Eren and wishing him a farewell. The stoic woman had few words to give but still offered a curt, "Stay sane, Eren."

Eren gave a brisk smile, knowing he should have expected as much. "Heh, I'm fine in that department. So far, at least," he replied flashing Hanji a worried glance.

Mikasa said nothing more before sliding past Hanji and Levi to the exit. She knew she needed her own meal and rest. Mikasa overstayed her visit and needed to have her own meal to stay strong. If the powerful woman did not leave with haste, then she knew Sasha would eat her portions of dinner. Mikasa left without waiting on Armin, who would probably need longer to cast a simple farewell-for-now.

"I guess I should go, too. Bye, Eren. Try not to gobble it all down and choke, alright?" Armin reached a hand between the bars, and Eren openly grabbed it, giving it a firm squeeze.

"Mm, Armin," the response would not mean too much to Levi or Hanji, but Armin understood and laughed.

"You know you would, so don't sound so offended." Armin heard a cough behind him and remembered he needed to leave. Separating their hands never became easier for the two, but Eren let Armin's arm slip past the bars. "Goodbye."

"Not so fast," Levi commented, his voice so chilling it gave off more as a threat than a normal command.

"Huh? You normally beg for them to leave, now you want him to stay?" Eren asked, glaring at Levi with warning eyes.

"I have a mission for him."

The blond, albeit rather bitterly, turned away from Eren to give Levi and Hanji his full attention. "Yes? I thought I was the one with the mission to give."

Levi shrugged. "Tell him then. Stop stalling. You haven't even fed the brat yet." Levi grabbed the plate of food Hanji had been holding and opened the Eren's cell. The cell had a spot to feed prisoners without opening the entire door, but Levi had no reason to use it. The cell only mattered because it was underground; he hardly saw the teen inside as a threat.

Eren accepted his food without looking at Levi, eyes on Armin. "If he's going somewhere, I'm going, too."

"We can't allow that. The higher ups still want to understand you more before we send you away. We tried convincing them that you'd be a valuable asset already, but they refused to listen. I'm not allows to go as the head researcher of you." Hanji turned her gaze to Armin, the subject of their conversation. "It's a trip outside the walls."

"With who else?!" Eren shouted in a panic. "That's way too dangerous, especially without me there to protect him! Why Armin? Is Mikasa going, too? How dangerous will it be?" Eren almost smacked himself there; extreme danger and going outside the walls were synonymous terms. Eren punched the hard brick wall, letting his bones creak from impact and small cuts bleed from the sharper points of the brick, knowing his wounds would heal. "Armin can't go without me to protect him! I won't all-"

Levi sighed and punched Eren across the face, which actually helped to calm the fuming brunet while he stopped brooding on the floor. "Oi, idiot, are you really so stupid to think we'd let a mind as valuable as Arlert's go to waste or be destroyed? I and a few elites will lead the mission, Jäger. You have nothing to fear. Damn, we haven't even covered the details of the mission yet, and you're already acting this stupid."

Armin remained calm, staring at Eren while trying to understand his situation. With the cell open, Armin stepped inside and dropped to his knees, wrapping his arms around Eren. "You really don't think I can handle protecting myself . . . Do you, Eren?"

Eren did not need to glance up to see the hurt look in Armin's eyes; his voice cracked with disappoint and pain that even someone as thick as Eren could understand. "I . . . Yes. It's just that anything can happen to anyone out there. I'm not invincible, and I know even I could die, so thinking of you, or even _Mikasa_ going out there without me to help at least a little . . . Do you see that I feel this way because I care about you, not because I think lowly of you?"

Armin squeezed tighter, and Eren hugged back, both forgetting the two others were even in the room. To the two others, the embrace looked only a little shy of romantic, but to Eren and Armin, it was a means of holding on to their world.

"Don't worry, Eren," Armin spoke with a gentleness he knew Eren always liked. The blond knew how to reach Eren past his angry fits; like in that moment, he ran nimble fingers through knotted brown locks and another hand lifted a strong chin up to bring their heads ever-so-much closer. "You know I'm not good with battle, but I'm smart enough to figure something out _if_ we run into any trouble. I'll have Levi and other strong people with me just in case. Eren, I'll come back safe and sound. I _promise_ you."


	2. They Toll for Thee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren hears the ringing of heroes' return, but for whom do the bells toll?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter summary's allusion is from one of John Donne's Meditation.
> 
> These chapters have been too short for my usual style. I'm sorry they've been so short, I think when the plotline becomes more linear and the characters do the thing, chapters can beef up in size because then I become a flow writer and just make constant streams of consciousness and awesomeness. For now the time jumps in certain ways for effect (and affect), and adding more beef in the building stage chapters kill the overall flow and power of the chapter's focus.
> 
> So a lovely reader (yeah, you), believes fangirls desire more than just lovely gay sex, and I think my mind shattered. Like, is it heartache? Do fangirls only like sex and pain if not just sex?
> 
> I REALLY like Erwin/Levi, I like yaoi, and I like reading Erwin/Levi, BUT IT'S SO WEIRD TO THINK ABOUT WRITING. Like, I cannot let Hanji and Levi be in the same chapter and room together without loving them. Neither Hanji/Levi nor Erwin/Levi have any place in the story as far as I've planned, but I WANT to ship both, and my heart only wants to write H/L if I include anything other than Eremin.

Eren waited in his cell for days, waiting for Armin to come visit. Mikasa would continuously visit as though nothing change, but she never said much. Eren asked why Levi's elite squad excluded her, and she responded that at least one powerful soldier needed to protect base. Eren thought that was stupid because he could certainly protect inside the walls, and Mikasa would be the best person to protect Armin.

Hanji noticed the changes in Eren's behavior well for an outsider. Mikasa could sense how troubled Eren felt, but she also knew him since childhood. Hanji visited daily, but Eren did not expect her to notice his smaller behavioral differences.

"I have permission to take you outside and let you talk to the other cadets. You've been in here too long. I think you're losing that nice tan of yours," the researcher commented opening the cell wide open to give Eren his food.

"Pah. It's natural," the brunet commented while taking a bite out of the bread roll. He swallowed before continuing "Mikasa somehow doesn't tan at all. She's the same color I think no matter often she fights in the sun. I don't really get much darker, I think, but I don't look at myself much to notice differences. And Armin, heh," Eren paused for a moment, thinking about his blond friend, "Armin would always just . . . burn. He wore the stupidest hat when we were kids to fight off the sun." Eren took a breath, smiling at the thought of his friend.

"Some call him weak and fragile, but, you know, he's just . . . Armin. He could figure out how to make something work when he needs something to work, and I always thought that showed another type of strength. He's stronger than strength because he can do so much more than be "strong," you know? I mean, after he began wearing that hat, I almost never saw him burn again." Eren face lit up when he talked about Armin, matching the face of a child opening presents, but the longer he talked, the more his eyes drooped, like a child who realized the presents were for someone else and never meant to be with the him.

Hanji wanted to laugh, smile, anything to hopefully infect Eren with a happier expression, but her face remained mostly stoic. "You know he's coming back, right?" Hanji could not understand herself or how those words left her mouth, but the fierce look in Eren's eyes told her she said the right thing.

"Of course! Armin made a promise to come back. He's fine. The mission's just taking awhile for . . . for some reason." Eren finished his meal as he spoke, making a small mess but not caring in the slightest. "You said I can go outside now, right?"

"Of course! I can hardly run tests inside this cell." Hanji knocked on the metal of the cell to emphasize her point. "You earned a change of scenery."

"Thanks, Hanji," Eren replied, his eyes calm and earnest.

Hanji knocked Eren on the head before turning to walk out of the cell. "My title is Captain Hanji, I'll have you know."

"Grr! Captain of being a pain in everyone's ass!" Eren retorted while he cradled his head with his hands. "Captain Levi calls you worse than just your last name but you don't assault him."

The eccentric researcher flushed, but not noticeably in the dark lighting of the underground prison. "Difference of authority and familiarity. Besides, why would you refer to him by a title and not me?"

Eren wanted to retort that most often no one referred to the woman as anything other than the crazy lady or four-eyed freak, but he remained calm enough to know that that would bring undesired consequences. Eren almost wondered how he knew the researcher's real name at all with the stream of nicknames she earned. Instead of continuing the conversation, Eren followed the captain up the many flights of stairs to the ground floor.

"The day is still young. That's good. Means we'll have plenty of time to do tes- the bells! Do you hear that, Eren? Levi and everyone are probably walking through the gates as we speak! We should see them first."

Eren darted to the door before Hanji finished suggesting they go. The bells' ringing never landed on more grateful ears than on that moment when Eren knew he would have his friend back. Hanji lost pace with the eager brunet, but she knew where he planned to go, so she allowed him to stay a few more paces than permitted ahead of her.

"Armin! Armin, I'm coming! Armin!" Eren kept shouting as he pushed his way through the crowd. By the time the eager male managed to reach the front the crowd began to disperse because the soldiers walked farther ahead.

Eren sprinted for the soldiers, shoving other people away when he needed to squeeze through the crowd. The angry shouts fell on deaf ears as Eren continued heading to the soldiers. Eren counted only a handful of people able to walk, and a few more resting in the crates. Everyone kept their hoods up, so he could not distinguish the blond locks he wanted to see most, but Eren kept telling himself that Armin was there with the rest of the survivors.

"Armin!" Eren shouted again as he reached the soldiers at last, yanking down the nearest one's hood. The soldiers turned to him, but not a single one the stunning, icy-sky blue eyes Eren needed to see. Eren only saw broken expressions and the hard stare of a familiar captain. "A-Armin. Captain Levi, w-where is he?"

Levi shuffled his gaze, trying to not look at Eren but knowing he needed to. Many citizens took the dark expression as a warning and scattered away. Taking a shallow breath, Levi finally spoke, "He's MIA. We don't even have a part of his corpse to give you. I don't know where that little shit went, but he left a note."

"A note? I don't want a note! I want Armin! I want my best friend, you incompetent midget asshole! Where were you when he left? Why isn't he here? Why Armin? Why, why, why?!" Eren's anger literally blinded him. Colors became blurred as nothing looked like what, or rather who, he wanted to see. Eren's mind stopped completely processing his surrounding as immense grief and bitterness flooded his senses. "Dammit, Captain Levi, I thought you were the best, so what happened?"

Eren left no time for Levi to vocalize before trusting his entire body at the small man. Eren did not know if he planned to assault Levi or hold him by his neck or cling to him sobbing; he just lunged the captain's body without thinking or working senses.

The sense of physical pain returned to Eren's malfunctioning brain in an instant after Levi skillfully chopped off Eren's arms. Those who saw the scene gasped and gaped in horror, some chose to move away, some tried to claim ignorance, but Eren lay on the stone road with limps missing and blood freely flowing.

"W-why?!" Eren shouted, trying and failing to cradle himself with the stubs he had for arms.

"'Why?' You're such a spoiled brat. You could have severely wounded me in your delusional mind. Unlike you, my body can't regenerate in a matter of minutes, so I used self-defense." Levi looked at Eren as he spoke, noting how during the short explanation Eren's arms already regenerated up to the wrists.

The growl that left Eren's lips sounded fierce, but it held a broken undertone if anyone truly listened to it. Eren looked down at where his blood spread between the cracks of the stones, seeing his old arms decay. "N-no. I already know why you helped control me when I got out of line, but," Eren looked at Levi again, an expression of defeat on his face, "why isn't Armin here?"

Eren's arms completely regenerated, and the soldiers regarded him with slight fear. The only reason no one tried to attack Eren in a panic was due to their wills being decimated from their earlier mission, and the knowledge that only Captain Levi would be able to handle even a 4-meter Titan.

"You, the one least likely to shit his pants, get over here," Levi instructed at a frightened but somewhat collected soldier. "That's right. You're in charge of leading the rest of the troop to HQ with my report."

Any composure the soldier had evaporated quickly from the direct and important command from his captain. "M-me? But, sir, I-"

"You aren't going to refuse. All your simple self has to do is make sure everyone walks down to HQ, which is now practically in eyesight, and hand in my pre-written report, and then leave. Understood?"

"Y-Yes, Captain Levi!"

Levi barely gave the soldier a second glance as he added in a strict, "Now!" to the order. The soldier's scampered from sight in a rush, and the townsfolk ignored the two males left as they rushed to their homes.

"Captain Levi?" Eren spoke the title like a question, unsure how to approach his lethal commander.

Levi did not use a verbal response; instead, he gave Eren a solid punch in the face, knocking out teeth that would grow back just the same. "Four," the captain uttered, venom injected into the sharp-piercing syllable. "I lost four great soldiers, people to whom I would entrust my life. Humanity lost four great people to Death's merciless hands, but you only lost comfort and assurance. I saw their bodies crushed and mutilated, cold and lifeless. I know those four are dead because I had to be the one wrapping their dead bodies and put them in the wagon, and I will be the one who has to carry the cadavers to their families with the news they died for nothing. Why for nothing? Because fucking Arlert left without doing his damn job. Arlert doesn't have a corpse in the wagon. Arlert could be alive, could be dead. The only thing lost about him is the guaranteed knowledge of his living status. Do you see the difference, Jäger?"

"Captain Levi . . ." Eren started, but he could not begin to relate or understand how to respond. Eren sat still and crestfallen on the ground.

"Save it. That four-eyed freak caught up with you some time ago. I don't want to give her anything interesting to see or else she'll never shut up about experiments." Levi pointed to Hanji in the distance for Eren to turn to see, and sure enough, the enthusiastic researcher observed Eren from less than 5 meters away, scribbling in her notebook.

Once the researcher stopped writing her observations, she rushed to Eren and Levi, beaming despite what everyone knew was a bleak situation. "Thirty-two seconds! It only took thirty-two seconds for your arms to grow back! Does it work that way with everything? Like your legs? I couldn't see from the angle, but did each arm grow at the same speed? Did one have more chopped off than the other? How does pain affect you in such a situation? Does your blood replenish as well? Does your-"

"Oi, that's enough," Levi stated. The small man had to stand on his toes, even with Hanji standing hunched down to better examine Eren on the ground, to place a heavy hand on her head. "Down, girl. Remember to actually breathe, you idiot."

"Mm, but it's supposed to be my day to experiment on him. This is completely justified, Captain!" Hanji whined with her sword drawn, prepared to start hacking off more of Eren's limbs for science.

"Hanji," Levi said in a chilling, low voice, "Leave him be. He's worthless in his current state. Let's take him back."

Hanji offered no vocal protests despite her eyes drooping with disappointment. "Is that okay with you, Eren? It's still your day to be out." Hanji kneeled down, placing both hands on Eren's shoulders with a wary smile. "Where's the best place to go?"

Nearly everything the two leaders said had escaped Eren's attention. All sound and people left Eren's world as he sat on the floor. Hanji's last words, however, pierced through the blocks in Eren's mind, and the brunet shot up with realization and determination. " _Out_. That's exactly where I want to go. I want to go out of these walls. I want to find Armin. I _will_ find Armin. Outside these damn walls." Eren sucked in a breath, his head turned up to the sky as he memorized the all-encompassing sky above him. "Outside these walls, Armin is waiting for me. That's where I want to go. I'm going to go to Armin. I'll take down anything that gets in the way of that."

"E-Eren," Hanji muttered, looking at at Eren as the sun shone above him. "Eren, even if I could get permission for us to leave the gate, Armin is probably . . . you want to go to a corpse."

"Just because he's a corpse won't make him any less Armin! He spirit deserves to know I still think he's the most amazing person I've ever met! I-I, _fuck_!" Eren choked on his words. Tears brimmed his eyes, and he lad to look back up at the sky, imagine they were Armin's calm blue eyes. "I need to find him and-and take him to the ocean. It's our _promise_. It's all we've ever cared about," Eren's voice became progressively softer, resisting the oncoming sob. "He's all I've ever cared about."

Eren pledged time and time again to destroy all the titans, pledged to escape his life's role as a sheep inside a stone pen, but the pledges only mattered as a part of the larger promise to go outside the walls and travel with Armin. That dream-like promise has always been his goal, his purpose, and he would not let something like Armin's disappearing get in the way of _their_ dream.

Eren turned to Levi, posed in a perfect salute. "Sir, I deman-request permission to-"

"No," Levi cut in with his tone authoritative and stern. "No, you can't, so fuck off before you even try to ask. I'm not the one who can give that permission, but I do have permission to _kill you_ if you disobey guidelines and escape. How would a corpse help Arlert, hm?"

Eren's arms dropped to his sides. The vivid green-eyes continued making contact with the dull hazel ones. "Then do I at least have permission to see and keep the note he left behind?"

Levi snuck a glance at Hanji; they both knew that Eren and anyone else below higher officials would not have authority to read the letter. Levi had every intention of rejecting Eren of reading the document to follow procedure, but the threatening look in Hanji's eyes explained that course of action would lead to a fate worse than what the military would give.

"Four-eyed freak," Levi mumbled under his breath as he turned back to Eren. Levi reach into his pocket and pulled out a neatly folded note from inside his jacket and passed it to Eren.

"You can hold onto it for now. Read it when we get back to your cell, then pretend you never even heard of it."

"Captain Levi," Eren said, tears dropping from his chin but thankfully avoiding the note, "thank you."

Hanji patted them both hard on the soldiers and leaned closer to the two males. "Enough of that. If I can't experiment like I wanted, I want to hurry and read it, too! C'mon!" The researcher needed to make sure Eren and Levi remained civil, and make sure neither rushed ahead of her. Hanji lead the two by the wrists back to Eren's chambers, and neither dared remark or act against it.

Eren walked back into the cell with no complaints, but Levi kept the cell door open as the three remained inside. "May I?" Eren asked, holding out the note.

"Read it out loud. We all want to know what it says. Not even I peaked at it," Levi ordered.

Eren blushed slightly, though no one noticed in the dim lighting and with his head turned away. The brunet knew his reading abilities lacked, but Armin always helped his literacy, and he would not let anyone else read the note aloud but himself. "Alright, sounds fine to me. Excuse any pauses."

Eren unfolded the note to realize it contained more than one sheet. Armin's handwriting was small but clear on the page, neatly stretching across the pages with precise lines despite being freehand. Holding the letter alone comforted Eren, but the content gave Eren the most hope. Surely his intelligent friend would only leave a note detailing a master plan of his. After taking a deep breath, Eren began to read.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anachronism has been added to the tags. Anachronism is a large part of the story's plot, AND in the canon SnKverse. I'll get into it more by Armin's note next chapter, but, SPOILER ALERT, this is going to be in 1850, not 850.
> 
> I feel the some might be turned off by the time jumps, but the matter a lot to me. My two favorite novels, The House of the Spirits and Chronicle of a Death Foretold, are done very irregularly, and I think it's important in a story like this one. I am sorry I didn't clarify this story's plotline.
> 
> And seriously, I hate Armin's mission. I'm doing all this to build suspense and curiosity as to what Armin's mission could be, but I worry you all will find it lame or anti-climatic. It's, like, ugh. I worry so much about this story.


	3. A Modest Proposal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Words are but wind; and learning is nothing but words; ergo, learning is nothing but wind."
> 
> \- Johnathan Swift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which my grammar gets intense. Seriously, quotation grammar for a quote-within-a-quote-within-a-quote makes sense, but I have never actually had to use it, let alone for a fanfic. Also, I DISLIKE HIGHLY the grammar of Swift's Modest Proposal. Like, it doesn't follow modern usage for symbols, but it's made about 300 years ago, so I didn't bother to edit its content to fit current rules.
> 
> I HAVE THE SWEETEST READERS EVER! Seriously, your reviews are SO SWEET. I noticed I have less hits than other stories, even for Eremin, but I'm so lucky/blessed/grateful for those I have. Thank you so much, guys. Thank you for giving me motivation for continuing.
> 
> Thanks to BrokenDoll for reading this chapter over a bit before I posted. ^,^
> 
> (I hope I can make literary inclusions and allusions every chapter, but who knows.)

 

Hanji placed a hand on Armin's shoulder, effectively snapping the blond out of his moment with Eren. The blue-eyed male moved his head away from the one of Eren's shoulders to look up at the interrupting woman. Eren loosened his embrace on Armin when he felt the smaller boy pull away, but his heart reached out for him even more.

 

Armin sighed and leaned his body over Eren's for a tight hug before staring at Hanji again. "We need to go. Uh, you need to eat, too. I'll be back, Eren, but I need to leave first." Armin freed his body from Eren, to both their dismay, and stood.

 

"Don't be worried. I picked you because I have the utmost faith in you. Come with me," Hanji ordered as she began moving out of the cell.

 

Armin followed suit and cast Levi and Eren small wave goodbye. The two acclaimed geniuses walked up the stairs and headed to one of the smaller conference rooms. A few other members of the Survey Corps whom Armin did not know already sat in the chairs, waiting for Hanji for de-briefing. Armin took a seat beside a large man with slicked-back black hair and an average-sized woman with reddish hair.

 

"Okay, since everyone but Captain Levi, who is watching Eren, is here, we can begin. You all already received the small file of the mission, and your duties won't stray too far than the usual: go outside the Wall Rose, kill Titans, discover as much as you can, avoid dying. I would like you all to add 'protecting Armin Arlert' to that list. As my protégé of mind, I expect him to take my place as the leader of intelligence gathering. He's a soldier like anyone else, but I'd like him to report back to me in person."

 

Everyone in the room turned to Armin, who felt even smaller and more useless than usual. The blond noticed a few eyes mocking him, and others surveying him, but especially some apathetic to him and the mission. Armin questioned in his mind why Hanji wanted him to go on the vague mission, but another soldier boldly vocalized his own thoughts.

 

An older man with messy hair like Jean's and a long face scowled directly at Armin as he spoke, "Hn! Why should we go out of our way to protect a newbie? He's already joined the Survey Corps of his own volition, so why should we play babysitters when he should already be prepared for the shit he's in for? The little twerp sh-" The man ended his thoughts early on account for his biting his tongue. The man whimpered at the deep pain, and Armin saw hints of blood, but everyone seemed desensitized. The redheaded woman even scolded him in a hushed voice that he should not have been running his mouth so much.

 

Hanji scrutinized the man, but focused her gaze on the group. "Though it was out of order, Oluo makes valid points. As I said before, Armin is a soldier, but he's valuable, and I need him to return for Humanity's sake. I must stay and study Eren, so Armin will be my pseudo-recorder."

 

Armin raised his hand, unsure how else to gain acknowledgement but happy to see it not shaking despite his intimidation. Hanji nodded at him, so he took his cue. "With all due respect, what exactly am I trying to understand? You said others got a small summary, but what specifically needs my mind outside the walls instead of with you watching over Eren?"

 

The glint in Hanji's eyes sent shivers down everyone in the room's spine. The researcher adjusted her glasses, and her eyes bordered red and brown. " _Technology_. Humanity is crippled to make only the same weapons and machines to the past century, and I propose it's time to change that. With recent development involving Eren as a 'Titan-weapon', I wanted to go further. Hanji took the file laid on the table before her arrival and opened it up to show various drawings of items no one in the room recognized.

 

"Your shocked faces proves everything," Hanji noted as he pulled out more drawings and set them across the table. "These sketches came from an ancient book I found. Much of the words were faded and pages or whole chapters fell out over time, but I can be assured that these are all machines developed by humans long ago. Armin, you are the only person who I know can understand these machines if -when you find them. We may not be able to carry the items back, but I want you to record their inner workings so we can create them here. Not everything is clear  _yet_ , but I know every one of these inventions would aid the military and humanity as a whole. Avoid as many dangers as you can, and just try to explore the old homes and research areas on the edge of Wall Maria. Some of the Wall Fanatics kept a library with a forbidden section, which is most likely containing a great deal of the information. Check the suspicious areas for books, and  _don't die_. Levi and a few others will be with you, but do your part and stay alive."

 

"Do we leave now?" Armin asked, not bothering raising his hand and speaking loudly enough to gain acknowledgement.

 

"No, we do not. I pushed for a month like many missions for preparation, but you will have today and tomorrow to pack and steel your nerves. The day after tomorrow you should be leaving. For now, you are all dismissed to catch the last of supper being served. Good luck, and come to me for any questions."

 

Most of the soldiers looked confused, but the hunger in their stomachs persuaded them to leave for food over asking more questions. After taking a few moments, Armin recognized many of the soldiers as a part of Levi's main squad, and scolded himself for not recognizing it before.

 

Armin went up to the redheaded woman, awkward smile on his face. "Uh, miss? You're Petra, correct? You're all in Levi's squad?"

 

The woman smiled back and nodded. "Yes, Günther, Oluo, and Eld are. The rest at the meeting were other qualified members of the Survey Corps, so you have no worries. Just trust us, and avoid causing problems. Only Oluo would hassle you even if you preform perfectly."

 

"Oi, I haven't left yet, damn woman! I can hear you," Oluo chided from a little past the doorway.

 

Petra released a light laugh, which caused Armin to chuckle as well. "See? He's thick-headed with everyone. Eat well and get a good night's sleep. You can worry about preparation tomorrow. This type mission is a bit unusual after the Wall Maria's Incident, but we are the  _Survey_  Corps, so I'm rather pleased. I hear you're the brightest of all the trainees and much of the entire army, so I know we'll learn a lot for humanity." Petra flashed Armin a beaming smile before leaving for a meal. Her trust touched Armin, and he knew he could trust the squad just the same.

 

"Leave, Armin," voiced Hanji from behind Armin. "You have a lot to take in, and going out to see the others at the dining hall should help relax you. I wish you the best now. Don't try to visit Eren, okay? If you tell him the mission, I don't think the cell would hold him." Hanji spoke with a smile and gentle tone, but the message reached Armin clearly.

 

"That's . . . You're right. I guess we already gave our goodbyes already. I'll do everything I can, Captain Hanji. If there's something to solve and learn, you chose the right soldier." Armin gave Hanji a bold salute, and the captain returned the gesture, putting her utmost faith in the young man before her.

 

***

 

Reading bothered Eren, especially aloud, but the young brunet needed to be Armin's voice. Eren knew he would stumble on words like a fool the moment he glanced at the quire, but his voice remained collected and understanding, mimicking Armin's to some subconscious degree. "'I, Armin Arlert, leave this note for whoever may find it.  
  
"'Levi, I know you will find this, and I give my most sincere apologies for leaving the safety and guidance of the squad. As a soldier for humanity's prosperity, I have gone on an expedition for information to further the current campaign. I almost decided not to leave this letter in a naïve thought that I would return without notice; however, my recent discovery proves too crucial to leave to the chance of my survival. I intend, at the very least, to disclose the small amount of information I have gained.  
  
"'The current information baffles me in regards to how much insight it provides, but the face-value of it remains uncertain. Instead of babbling on longer, I will disclose an excerpt in the following with further reasons for my action.'"  
  
Eren's face twitched with annoyance. His friend had rambled in circles, and Eren's body tensed visibly. Eren needed an eased mind to continue reading, but anxiety wore down his strong spirit. Eren took a deep breath after thumbing through the amount of papers Armin left for him to read. Damn reading was never his strong point, and he regretted not paying closer attention when Armin made efforts to teach him, but neither Hanji nor Levi complained.  
  
Hanji sat on the edge of the old chair in the cell, eyes wide and sparkling. Levi furrowed his eyebrows when Eren mentioned Armin leaving the group, but he wanted to hear the rest and remained calm. The captains acted overall supportive and understood what reading the letter meant to Eren, but the teen gripped the papers tightly in anger. Eren appreciated the adults, but the letter sickened him; he just wanted Armin, but he needed to finish what Armin gave them first. The next part stopped looking like Armin's handwriting, actually being printed text literally pulled out of whatever piece Armin found and added it the note. Printing almost existed exclusively for people in the Sina district who could enjoy the finer leisures like literature and news, so that in itself informed Eren that the excerpt would be something significant.

 

"'"The number of souls in this kingdom being usually reckoned one million and a half, of these I calculate there may be about two hundred thousand couple whose wives are breeders; from which number I subtract thirty thousand couples who are able to maintain their own children, although I apprehend there cannot be so many, under the present distresses of the kingdom; but this being granted, there will remain an hundred and seventy thousand breeders. I again subtract fifty thousand for those women who miscarry, or whose children die by accident or disease within the year. There only remains one hundred and twenty thousand children of poor parents annually born. The question therefore is, how this number shall be reared and provided for, which, as I have already said, under the present situation of affairs, is utterly impossible by all the methods hitherto proposed. For we can neither employ them in handicraft or agriculture; we neither build houses (I mean in the country) nor cultivate land: they can very seldom pick up a livelihood by stealing, till they arrive at six years old, except where they are of towardly parts, although I confess they learn the rudiments much earlier, during which time, they can however be properly looked upon only as probationers, as I have been informed by a principal gentleman in the county of Cavan, who protested to me that he never knew above one or two instances under the age of six, even in a part of the kingdom so renowned for the quickest proficiency in that art.

 

"'"I am assured by our merchants, that a boy or a girl before twelve years old is no salable commodity; and even when they come to this age they will not yield above three pounds, or three pounds and half-a-crown at most on the exchange; which cannot turn to account either to the parents or kingdom, the charge of nutriment and rags having been at least four times that value.

 

"'"I shall now therefore humbly propose my own thoughts, which I hope will not be liable to the least objection.

 

"'"I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee or a ragout."'"

 

Eren stopped again trying to wrap his head around the words. For the most part he only read a word or sentence at a time, so looking at the big picture confused him.

 

"Haaa! That's so interesting, Eren! Damn that little tactician for not including it all," Hanji whined with deflated but still curious eyes.

Levi shot the woman a glare. "You decipher anything from that other than a bunch of weirdass mumblings?"

 

"Yes! Levi, we need to get outside the gate. We need to figure out what this means. I mean, making ragout of small children? Could you imagine if someone suggested such a thing here? We'd become titans, and then what would happen to us? To our humanity? What if the person who wrote this lived in an area inhabited with people similar to Eren?" Hanji jumped from her chair in excitement. "If we inform Erwin of this, he's almost guaranteed to permit entry outside the walls again. Eren, please, continue!" Hanji ordered. The researcher sat back down in a fruitless effort to help contain her curiosity and excitement.

 

Eren's heart skipped a best at the thought of going outside the walls, for a chance to find Armin, but he continued nonetheless. His voice shook less and he became more familiar with how to make the words come out as seamlessly as they are written, and if Eren had had time he would have taken a moment to admire how wise Armin seemed even in written form.

 

"'I can only guess how that sounded, but I believe it serves a greater purpose than the face value. The full text's epigraph references places unknown such as Ireland, and describes a situation very different than the current state of humanity, yet touches on related topics like the children in rags, starvation, and a population that cannot be compartmentalized properly.

 

"'For mentioning unthought of areas of the world, I naturally assumed the article had been written long, long ago whenever humanity inhabited far beyond even Wall Maria; from that thought, I tried to find a date of possible publication. Instead of being dated several decades or centuries past, the essay dates  _forward_  to 1729! This piece was stashed inside of a broken, old chest in the secured home the squad is using for the night, among other works. To confirm my doubts I checked publications dates of every work, all succeeding the current given year of 850. I discovered plays from the 1500s, essays from the 1700s, poems from the 1600s, and nothing from 800s, and nearly none of them are written in the language currently used in the walls.

 

"'I cannot decipher all, but many works featured the rights of humans, and scientific articles. I understand why Hanji chose me for this mission; no one else would be able to translate the dead languages found, so I delved my mind into the scientific works to realize many of them featured technology much like that which Hanji described. Most likely no one bothered to figure the nonsensical words before, and that leads to our current lead to understand now.

 

"'As studies show, Titans are far less mobile and active after the sun sets, and considering several hours have passed with rest of the squad resting, I choose now to embark on a small expedition for more of these works in hopes to gain more of the scientific articles or more involving outside nations while I'll most likely be safe and not disturb my fellows.

 

"'The current residence remains oddly secure and fortified for protection against any surprise attacks, and I noticed that it also has a key symbol on the door resembling those of the Wall Fanatics. I recall other symbols on other homes, so I begin my investigation there. If you are in a position to read this note, I'm sorry.

 

"'I'm sorry I broke my promise, Eren. I didn't make it back to you. I have so much more to say that just can't be written justly in a letter. I don't think words could ever do my feelings justice, actually. Maybe I can see the ocean from wherever I went.

 

"'Signed,

 

"'Armin Arlert'"

 

Tears fell onto the last page of the letter Eren failed to notice falling from his face. His heart sank, the rest of his body following, and Eren collapsed on the ground. Anger, sadness, and a painful numbness overtook him again. The young brunet wanted to lash out while curled up in a ball bobbing, but the numbness only permitted him to just kneel on the floor with the sensation-less tears gliding down his cheeks.

 

Hanji stood again, excitement gone from her entire body. "I'll report this to Erwin. Please, hand me the letter. The faster he gets it, the faster you can leave to find Armin, remember?" Hanji wondered if Eren could even hear when he made no sign of moving or responding. Hanji opened her mouth to speak again, but Levi cut her off.

 

"Hey, fuckwad, get up and pass over the damn note. You've been ordered by your higher-ups, and I can count it as treason if you don't obey," Levi spat as he ground Eren's face against the concrete wall with the bottom of his shoe. "You awake yet?"

 

Eren acted on reflex as he grabbed Levi's leg and flipped him to the ground. Despite being better in battle, Levi failed to see the move, and memories of Eren being one of the best at hand-to-hand combat entered his mind. Instead of getting more annoyed, Levi accepts the counter as a legitimate reaction and applauded Eren's ability to do anything other than wallow.

 

"I'm awake, Captain Levi," Eren droned as he rose to his feet. The youngest party member handed Armin's note to Hanji without looking at anything but the ground. "If you don't mind, though, I'd like to go to bed for a bit; I'm no good to experiment on right now anyway, Hanji. Please get the note to Erwin soon."

 

"Right. Thanks for cooperating, Eren. I'll come back with a status update as soon I can. Rest well." Hanji turned to leave with Levi following. In moments Eren lost all his company, but he felt no loneliness from the two captains' departure in specific. 

 

Eren limped to his bed and lay down. Memories of Armin flashed through his mind before falling asleep, and Eren convinced himself he would find Armin and hear him say whatever he could not express in the letter in person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, hey! Armin and Eren were in the same room this chapter! I mean, it's just a continuation from chapter one, but you know. I don't know when they'll meet again post-mission, but Eremin needs more love, so they shall be happy! Maybe! Eventually, I hope. ^.^;  
> I'm mapping out the story still, but I'm excited.  
> THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A FREAKING ONE SHOT! WHY ARE THERE ALREADY THREE CHAPTERS?! Whyyyy?


	4. Wait and Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live."  
> -Alexandre Dumas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter in which I didn't know I shipped Erejean until now. Thanks INFINITELY for reviewing. I don't know if I should reply back to comments on AO3 because it seems like it spams the comment section, but if you want I'll reply by tumblr if you have one or something. I dunno I'm a total loser.

Eren awoke early, sun rising an hour after him. The sky's dark blue color hinted at night, though Eren decided to stay awake because the cell's continuously dim lighting made time-keeping nearly impossible. The teen would normally begin training as soon as he awoke, even in the cell, but he had no energy to move that morning. Eren pulled his knees to his chest and sat on his bed as he awaited someone with his meal and hopefully some news. With only candles lighting the room, Eren watched the shadows flickering for hours until someone came.

A petty officer would bring his breakfast most mornings around eight or nine, and Eren waited for a couple hours for the visit from Mikasa and Armin. Mikasa had not visited the day before because a warning was placed on him due to his "bad temperament," but Eren hoped for anyone he knew to come. Eren had not acted brashly since he hit Levi, nor did he feel particularly angry or violent, but the action still had to be reported with consequences. Hanji swore to return when she had more information, but Eren only saw the one or two meal-bringers. Eren counted eating about nine meals since reading Armin's letter, so Eren counted roughly three days passed since then. Each meal plate remained anywhere from a quarter to half eaten because Eren failed to muster the energy to eat all of the slop the Military Police deemed suitable for him.

Even with a growling stomach, the brunette boy's mind starved for information more than his body craved food. The room stayed quiet for what felt like another hour until Eren heard the heavy entrance door slam open.

"Eren!" Hanji's loud voice rang through the cells. Before said male could respond, Hanji already latched onto the cell bars, pressing her face as inside the cell as she could fit it. "Get up."

Eren jumped from the bed, getting caught in the sheets and falling face first to the floor. "Grr! Dammit, Hanji, did you have to do that?!" Eren fumed as he tried to get himself up from the hard floor.

Hanji beamed at the teen and shrugged off his outburst. "Of course I did! Would anything else have gotten you to talk like normal? You've been a mess, and if you don't get up and ready within five minutes I'll officially band you from the going on a mission outside the walls."

"What? Fuck, Hanji, why the hell didn't you say that first?" Eren moved quicker than his body should have been able to for being so inactive the past few days. Eren wanted to curse out his superior officer more, but all his attention went to getting his uniform properly assembled. Getting undressed around Hanji should have bothered Eren more, but being in the military desensitized the awkwardness of changing around other men completely, and Hanji fell into a league of her own. Embarrassment could come later, but the Eren focused on grabbing his sole, dirty pants and straps. The guards took most of his gear, but still had the uniform. No matter how many years he spent putting the outfit on, Eren fumbled with the straps and buckles, and he almost tripped trying to put on the boots while standing. The panicking made Eren clumsy, and he took longer than his usual to ready himself, but he stood at the edge of the cell doing his best salute with his appearance wild and his breath short.

Hanji looked at her wrist and pretended to tap an imaginary watch. "You took six minutes, and you look like you just woke up. I swear, do you just sleep and be lazy all the time?" The researcher joked with half-seriousness. "Levi's going to spit in your face when he sees that hair looking more awful than usual, but I guess it can't be helped."

Hanji took a small key and opened the once locked cell gate. Eren tried to relax, but his face looked like a mixture of fatigue, anger, gratitude, and annoyance. "Tell me, will the mission be what I think it is?"

"Would it not being what you want it to be change what you would do?" Hanji questioned, avoiding giving an answer but still making a point. When Eren gave no vocal reply other than a grunt, Hanji continued, "You can eat with your old squad again. Well, a few people left, but most of you 104 trainees stuck around to join the Corps. They and the senior members should be getting breakfast now, so let's hurry before we miss a meal!"

Hanji led the two above the grungy cells. Eren kept pace with his head cleared of the heavy thoughts that plagued him when he was alone. The young soldier had not seen the majority of his old companions for presumably weeks. Granted, Eren knew he was not joining the group for fun and reminiscing, but he needed real human interaction to revitalize his despondent attitude. If Armin or Mikasa ever caught him being so mopey, each would continuously do everything in their power to help him, but Eren knew he needed to help himself and prepare to do anything to save his lost friend.

Levi came into view when the duo walked outside the courthouse. Hanji quickened her pace to reach Levi while she held Eren's wrist, quite literally dragging Eren behind her. "Levi, you're here! You should be getting breakfast with the others. I can handle the little twerp, you know." Hanji beamed even as she tried to sound angry at her comrade.

Levi shrugged and walked ahead so the other two would get the hint and continue. "Like hell I would be over there. Those idiots slobber over everything and cause mayhem at every meal. I grabbed food from a vendor on my way." Levi glanced at Eren, a sneer on his otherwise-plain face. "You look like shit. You look like such shit I can't even be revolted at you, but rather that four-eyed freak for thinking that you looked decent for public eye, not that she ever does better."

"Hey, not fair!" Hanji retorted as she sniffed herself. "I've bathed and tidied myself up quite a bit the past few days! Eren can tell you I told him he looked like as walking trash dump, ne, Eren?"

Eren ignored Hanji and the part about his appearance. In a hot cell, Levi should thank Eren for at least trying to be decent. "My appearance aside, by 'public' you mean the other soldiers, right?" 

Levi shrugged. "Yes, but I still pity the poor folk passing us who have to see your ugly face, let alone the new cadets who share the same uniform you're disgracing. Have you seen the other trainees since Trost?" Levi inquired to Eren when he and Hanji caught up.

"Only the ones with permission to see me in the cell or when I went to a field study with you and your squad. It's been awhile. I take it . . . I take it none of them were sent on the same mission as Armin?"

"No, only a a few members of the Corps went out," Hanji supplied, being the more knowledgable one about the situation. "Your old trainee friends were still getting the basics of being a part of the Survey Corps. Armin only went for his mind, and everyone was given special order to guard him since he lacked the same training."

"I see." Eren clenched his fists. " _Armin shouldn't have gone out there. They knew he wasn't ready. They_ knew _it, and_ failed." The brunet hated himself for being angry at his superiors, but he could not forgive them for failing. Because of their incompetence, his friend could be dead, but Eren knew his rage would be unfair considering Armin only _could be_ dead while most everyone else on the expedition _died_. Still, Eren comparing his woes to others did not bring back his friend, and that mattered more than anything else.

In his haze of thoughts, Eren never noticed how close the group walked to the military quarters. Breakfast ended ended a short while before their arrivals, but everyone looked more than willing to call a break from their duties to greet him. Connie, Sasha, Christa, and Ymir came to him first, and he assumed Mikasa, Jean, Marco, Bertolt, and Reiner went scavenging for supplies and would come back later. Eren wanted to see his sister, but all of the familiar faces helped ease him.

"Heya, Eren! How have you been holdin' up?" Connie asked with his voice four levels louder than necessary.

"Oh, Eren, did you eat anything yet? I snagged some bread if you need something," Sasha admitted. The gluttonous woman even held out said bread, but Levi heard her and snatched it.

After hitting Sasha to the ground with the hard loaf, Levi tossed it to Eren. "You should eat it. This idiot went through the trouble of stealing it, so it shouldn't be wasted. Hanji and I are going to talk to Erwin. Don't waste the break, you idiots."

"Are you okay, Sasha? It was very nice of you to offer food to Eren, but try to be careful about how you do it?" Christa chided while she tried to help the wounded Sasha from the ground.

Ymir tugged Christa up before the blonde could assist Sasha. "Eh, don't bother with that food freak, Christa. She got what she deserved." The tall woman glanced at Eren, but she said nothing to him as she held Christa to her.

"Grr. You jerk! Sasha doesn't deserve to be hit for trying to be nice," Connie defended while Sasha got herself up. "You should be nice, at least with Eren watching."

"Eren's used to it. He's nothing special, Shorty. And Potato Girl deserves punishment for stealing food like anyone else. Maybe you're the type of fetishist who would like her if she did put those extra bread rolls as fat rolls."

"Hey, that's uncalled for!" Connie and Sasha retorted in unison.

Though the conversation got more and more ludicrous, Eren enjoyed his friends' bantering. Christa tried to mediate while the other three fought, but her soft angelic voice became topped by shouting. Thankfully the fighting stopped with the other group came to break up the feud. Reiner picked Ymir up and tossed her over his shoulder while Mikasa did the same with Sasha and Bertolt pat Connie on his head lightly.

"Eren," Mikasa gasped as she saw her brother standing behind the other 104th scouts. Mikasa dropped Sasha on he floor with a loud thump before rushing to Eren and giving him a tight hug. "Eren. Eren, are you okay?" She asked with her arms still around him.

"I-I'm fine Mikasa. Don't be so emotional," Eren ordered with a blush on his face, but he still hugged the strong woman back.

"Oh, get a room," Jean sneered, still holding some of the supplies the group fetched. "You two act like it's been years."

Eren wanted to punch Jean for sounding so pompous, be he saw the smirk on his horse-face and a hand extended. Eren shrugged off the jibes as typical Jean behavior, and grabbed the hand. "I guess a few years without seeing you would have done me some good," Eren responded with a smirk of his own. 

"Same here, Jäger. The higher ups let the mutt out if the cage, I see."

"Whatever. Where's Marco? Isn't he the only one who can tolerate letting your horse-face out of the stables. Doesn't feel like 'riding' you today or something?"

Everyone around Eren quieted, somber looks on their faces. Too late did Eren understand his words.

"He's dead. Everyone died back in Trost except Annie in the Military Police and the people right here. And Armin is . . ." Jean's words stayed in his throat, refusing to come out.

"I know, and . . . I see. I'm, uh, I'm happy at least you made it. Thanks for telling me, Jean. I'm happy to see you, even if it means you joined the Corps, too. Most of can stay together here, right?" Eren meant the words, too. Though everyone had the same depressing expression, Eren enjoyed being to see them all together. No one vocally criticized him that they would only be together until the next death, but he saw it on their faces. "You know, Armin will join us soon. I heard we have a mission to get him back. So . . . so we'll get him back."

"Eren's right. We'll get Armin back, and then everyone can be together. We're a team, and I'll protect all of you," Mikasa spoke, breaking the tension behind Eren's words. "We made it through Trost, and we'll make it through all other Titans foolish enough to challenge us."

"Yeah, and if anything goes wrong we can still always stab them in the ass!" Reiner added, giving the squad a laugh they had not let out since their early trainees days.

"I bet Hanji's already done something that crazy before," Eren added, but most of the squad barely knew the eccentric scientist, and Mikasa never laughed, so the attempted joke went over their heads. When everyone just stared at Eren with dull eyes, he fumed. "Shut up, it was totally funny!"

That reaction, in turn, caused another round of laughter, even from Mikasa.

"I don't know why I ever missed you jerks," Eren mumbled to himself, though a smile tugged at his lips.

"Hey, guys, get back to work before some of the other senior members catch you slacking!" Ness, one of the older squad members, scolded. He and Sys worked together on most of the chores with ease and lightheartedness, but none of the younger members wanted to see how far they could push the senior.

"Right, we should get back to work. Should we split in partners?" Christa asked to the group.

"You know it's just going to be you and me regardless of the others' choices," Ymir replied. "Let's just do our chores before we get scolded by that shorty."

Christa sighed but nodded to the taller woman. "I suppose. I'm happy to see you, Eren," the young blonde called before going with Ymir.

"Pairs, huh? Sounds fair. Me and Sash'll team up," Connie said, marking his partner before anyone else could. No one would choose either of the playful duo if one wanted to actually do work and not be scolded by Levi.

"Bert and I make a good team," Reiner claimed with one arm on his taller companion's shoulder.

"I have Eren," Mikasa announced with chilling authority. The powerful woman never left Eren's side since he arrived, but she managed to scoot closer as she spoke, only a few inches to the side of him.

Eren gulped and turned to his sister. "Uh, how about you go with Sasha and Connie, Mikasa?" Eren saw Mikasa's entire face fall at the suggestion, and Eren felt a pang in his heart. Eren would normally love to work with her, he would, but he had other things to do that Mikasa would be no use for. "You can't trust Connie and Sasha to actually do work. You'd be a great team. Besides, Jean needs a partner."

"Oh? And who said I wouldn't rather just work alone? Especially if it involves working with you."

Eren shot Jean a fierce look, reminded Jean that for as often as they quarreled vocally, Eren could beat him in a real fight. "Something wrong with working with me? I'm the hardest working here, and you're a lazy shit, so it should be fine." Jean made no objection to that because, though crudely said, he agreed that he could likely slack and let Eren do his work. "Good."

Mikasa stepped over to Jean and grabbed onto his hands. "Be good to Eren," she warned before going to Connie and Sasha. If not for the look of malice in her eyes, Jean would have blushed from having Mikasa hold him so close.

Jean and Eren remained mostly silent while the groups divided the chores, lest they argue over which duty to take. The four teams spread the chores into sections with Reiner and Bertolt preparing and checking the gear and maintenance checks, Ymir and Christa cleaning the grounds, Sasha's group hunting, and Eren and Jean taking the last part of general errand-doing for the soldiers. The four groups nodded to each other and went their separate ways after agreeing to reunite no later than sunset.

"You're a real shit, you know. Why'd you reject Mikasa back there?" Jean asked with genuine intrigue in his tone under the annoyance.

"What's it to you? Sasha and Connie needed someone trustworthy, and you wouldn't fit well with the other groups as well as she did with them."

"You're acting oddly calm and reasonable. You're making _almost_ good excuses, even if they do sound fucking awful and assholish. What gives?"

"I can't . . . I can't say yet. I just have a question, but we need to do our work, slacker."

Jean grunted, resisting the urge to fight the stubborn brunet. Eren agreed to do most of the work, but Jean decided he could help a bit more than intended if it meant he could get Eren to explain himself faster.

Jean and Eren's first task came from Mike, who wanted them to go to the market for more soaps. The two figured many other soldiers would need market items and continued down the list of people who needed things. No one turned down the opportunity to have someone else run their errands, so Eren and Jean wound up with a wide-ranging list.

"Fuck, a cuckoo clock? Why the hell does Sys want a damn cuckoo clock? Why the hell did you agree to that request, Jäger?" Jean fumed as he scanned the requests. "And a damn doorknob for Erwin. Like that asshole isn't already shrouded in mystery."

"Shut up. You have to respect your officers. He sent us to get a door knob, so we'll find a damn door knob!" Eren screamed despite being near Jean. The two had walked into the marketplace, but they only saw food vendors and a few selling worthless wares. "Shit, only a few items on the list actually look obtainable. Where are we supposed to go? Sina?"

"Nice job getting us the hardest chore, Jäger. Erwin and Levi will have our heads if we don't get everything." Jean sighed and ripped the list, causing a look of terror to cross Eren's face. "Don't be so enraged. We're splitting up. I'll search the vendors from the west to the north, and you get the ones east to south."

"You seem oddly willing to help and work," Eren noted with a surveying eyebrow raised. The brunet grabbed part of the list, realizing his contained more than a half-dozen more items than Jean's. Eren nearly demanded for more equal distribution, but he knew not to trust Jean with more work. Eren glared at Jean a moment longer before he sighed and slacked down his shoulders. "Fine. We have two hours before we need to go back, but be back sooner than that."

"With my charm, I'll get everything given to me before you turn around."

Without any other exchanges, the two soldiers separated. Eren's face hardened into a scowl from his time with Jean, but the longer he walked, forgetting about his duties, the more his mind cleared of negativity. Countless kids of all ages ran by him with smiles on their faces, adults shopped for deals and necessities, elderly citizens would try to entertain the younger children with stories. Every single person had problems, but every single one continued their lives, intermingling and doing the best they could.

If the entire Survey Corps died in action, life somewhere would go on. If the Guards or Police died, life somewhere would go on. If all of Sina died, life somewhere would go on. If all of Rose died, life somewhere would go on. _When_ almost all of Maria died, Eren's, Mikasa's, and Armin's lives still went on. If Armin died outside the walls all alone, life somewhere would go on.

Just not Eren's.

Eren would be alive, but he would not handle not having Armin's life-bearing presence. Eren wanted to be happy and without worry like the children playing on the street, but he made a vow with Armin to see the ocean together outside the walls, and the possibility of not keeping that sacred promise weighed a heavy guilt in his heart. Eren clenched his hands tight without realizing that he still held the list in it, and the sound of it tearing snapped him out of his negative thoughts.

Eren needed to get to Jean as soon he could, so he rushed to a single vendor and requested the items he remembered with such a violent face and tone the merchant gave most of them to Eren for half price. Eren knew he forgot and lacked a few of the more obscure items, but trying to read them on torn paper just enraged him more.

Carrying three heavy bags in his hands, Eren bowed in gratitude to the scared vendor before rushing to the other side of the market. Eren peered around every corner and street, but he saw no Jean. After ten minutes of searching, the brunet approached various vendors if they saw him. No one admitted to it, but their looks said otherwise. Eren felt his concern rising alongside with his temper.

"Hey, kid!" Eren shouted to a young girl. "Have you seen my friend around here? He, uh, he looks sort of like me but taller and with a horse face?"

"You look strange and dangerous," she remarked with her fiver pointing at the emblem on his chest. "Mother said to not talk to strangers because they'll hurt me. Leave me alone, you bully! Nobody wants you around!" She snarled with her otherwise cute and youthful face turning sour and menacing. The shoppers and vendors who ignored Eren prior eyed him and the little girl.

"Shit, you brat. I'm just looking for my friend," Eren murmured under his breath. As much as he wanted to scream at all the onlookers, he needed to find Jean. Grabbing his bags yet again, Eren rushed away.

The entire town seemed like a maze, and Eren turned at every corner looking for Jean. Without a map or proper sense of direction, Eren wound up in the alleys far from the market. The brunet heard shouts and yelps near him, and sprinted to the noises.

Coming into view Jean lay sprawled on the cobblestone floor, nose running red and face swollen purple. Five other men hovered at Jean's side, laughing and scowling.

"Think you can wander in our neighborhood, rat? You soldier-types are a damn drain on our taxes to fight off the titans, but you can't even take on a few poor farmers starving for food," a medium-sized man belittled after kicking Jean in the stomach. Eren could see a broken cuckoo clock and dirtied soap on the floor, scattered in a mess beside broken bags near Jean. 

"Think ya c'n buy 'll those luxuries wid ouw money? Most'avus can't buy soap 'r clocks," a dirty, younger man said with his missing teeth and accent slurring the words. "We dun need t' tell time 'cause we work at fields all day, an' ev'n den I think I smell pretty." The man grabbed Jean by the head and stuck him under his arm, laughing as Jean visibly struggled to breathe.

No one heard or saw Eren before the he swooped into the scene, slicing the arm the disgusting man had over Jean halfway to the bone. The man dropped Jean before falling to his knees, gripping his deep would as though his arm would fall off otherwise. When the other four rushed to Eren, the young soldier slashed the two on the left on their legs, punched in the one on the end right's nose, and slammed his elbow down on the last one's jugular. Only the one with the broken one could stand through the pain, and he tried to abandon the others as he turned to run. Eren rushed to him just to kick him down and stomp on him. Eren wanted to continue his onslaught, but he had more pressing matters.

Jean's body remained face down for the entire fight, but he knew Eren was the one who saved him. When the smaller brunet rolled Jean on his back, the beaten man gave Eren a grateful smile.

"I didn't charm people like I thought I would," Jean sputtered, voice harsh and low. A angry grunt of pain escaped Jean's lips when Eren picked him up, but he said nothing more.

Eren carried his bags over his elbows while he carried Jean bridal-style. As strong as Eren was, the brunet could not hold Jean infinitely, and put the wounded man on a patch of grass and dirt he found between camp and the market. A breeze swept over them, and the two appreciated the cool touch.

"Think the others are going to make fun of how shitty I look?" Jean asked, voice sounding better it still in pain.

"Who said you look shitty? It beats your normal face." Jean moved so that his leg hit Eren, but it was too weak to call a kick. "Stop that, bastard. I'm being serious. Besides, no one there would have the audacity to make fun of someone injured. Those damn citizens could have killed you, and _no one_ would find a situation so dangerous laughable."

"Y-yeah," Jean murmured. "Say, why did you have a knife, you crazy psychopath?"

"Sasha requested a new hunting blade, remember? It's not 'new' now, but now I have proof that I got one that cuts well. At least someone will be happy about our chores. Levi'll probably make us go back tomorrow to do it again, not to mention adding more to the assignment."

Jean laughed at that despite it being true and horrible. Eren released a relieved sigh when he heard Jean feel good enough to laugh.

Jean and Eren stayed silent again. The two relaxed as time passed and Jean felt better bit by bit. If the sun did not look a half-hour away from sunset, neither would have tried to move.

Eren stood first. The smaller male extended one arm to Jean, which the usually stubborn man accepted. "Thank you. For everything. I don't know what would have happened if you didn't . . . You know." Eren allowed Jean to use his shoulder as support as they continued their walk to camp.

"It's fine, horse-face. As horrible and shitty you are, I doubt you did anything to deserve what happened. I feel like I failed you, so don't thank me. I'm failing everyone lately."

"Shut up, idiot. I was the one who wanted to separate. Those assholes ambushed me when I tried to get the last thing. They said I didn't earn the right to all the stuff I was buying, and that I practically stole it. Just because of the uniform I wore." Jean continued to limp while Eren supported him, and his steps became even more wobbly as he spoke. "I thought I was going to die, but I didn't. You saved me. I know what it's like to not be good enough to save someone, and this isn't a time to feel that way. For a moment . . . I thought I would be joining Marco, but I'm still here, looking at your ugly face in the flesh. Don't be so hard on yourself, bastard. You saved me, Eren."

Eren stopped walking, recalling why he need to talk to Jean so much in the first place. "Jean," he started, voice breaking, "what's it like not being able to save someone precious to you? How are you _so strong_ that you can be here and act so casual with me and the others when someone who made your entire world left?!"

"Because I don't want anyone else to share his fate. I don't want other people to die if I can help to avoid it. I don't want to join him yet. I don't want to waste his memory by not living to my full potential. I don't want him to be disappointed in me." Jean held onto Eren tighter as his own body almost stopped supporting him. "You're strong, too. You've ways been strong, and it didn't take someone precious from you dying to become that way."

Eren rested his head on Jean's as they stood alone for that moment. "You're right. Thank you, Jean. I'll hang in there even if the worst case scenario is true."

"That's the suicidal bastard I know. Hang in there. Everyone's in this together. We all want to save him."

Eren held Jean closer to him, letting a few tears land in Jean's messy hair while he felt a wet spot growing on his shoulder. "Did you love Marco?"

"Yes. I don't know if the feeling was returned, and I still don't know what _type_ of 'love' I mean, but I loved him. I didn't know before, but I think understanding my feeling for him now helps me get by." Jean inhaled a deep, calming breath. "I don't know the exact feelings between you two, but make sure you don't let yourself fall in love. This pain, the agonizing loneliness, comes from love. I know you're too stupid to figure out how obvious your feelings are for Armin, but don't let yourself fall in love. Don't let yourself love him more than the innocent type that comes from just caring about him. It'll hurt so much later."

"I can't guarantee that, Jean. I don't . . . I don't know how I feel about him. He's precious. He's everything. He's the ocean and the sky. He's the sun and moon. He's my savior and curse. So does that make love?"

Jean paused for a moment. The taller male pushed himself off Eren, standing stable on his own two feet. Hazel eyes bore into green ones. "Yes."

***

Armin unlit a candle as he left a dark, musty room. Even the smallest Titan would not be able to fit in the small stone entrance into the expansive room, so the blond had rested his body while he tried to read a few confiscated books. The sun set hours prior, and no known titans stayed awake past that.

The blond traveled far past the wall with the troops, but everyone left, and he needed to return by foot after losing his horse from his first night out. Traveling by foot only lasted a few hours until titans started to awaken some time before dawn, and his physical ability prevented him from being fast while traveling by ground. The small male saved as much gas as he could in case of an attack, or for when he needed to scale up the wall if no one opened the gate for him.

The blond already left his letter of information for Captain Levi to find, and he had no new news to share, yet Armin never acted with such a drive before; he needed to return to the walls again. He needed to be a true soldier and not surrender the will to live. He needed to stay strong for humanity.

Armin needed Eren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoooo, so I hope you all noticed Eren's small paradigm shift from going "I can't live without Armin" to "I'm going to live because I love Armin" thanks to Jean. Jean and him are totally allowed to have their little moments. Still waiting for Eren and Armin to kiss, but love is sort of the worst possible fate for a soldier, you know?  
> Anyway, thanks for reading, and whatnot! Comments are loved, and be sure to wipe your but twice after eating spicy food.  
> Love,  
> Grey


End file.
